Reasons not to go to Big Sur:
1. It is too beautiful.
There is a good chance that on the way there, you will drive off a cliff because you are staring at a beach.
2. Poison Oak.
This area is rife with them. They will be driving VWs, wearing lots of layers, and probably have one-too-many piercings. Dangerous? Not really. Annoying? Yes.
The unknown killer of the ocean. It will wrap around your legs and drown you. Even if you are on the beach and several hundred feet from the water. It’s that good.
5. Whatever made these tracks.
6. The McWay Falls.
The falls are right off Highway 1, and are a protected little beach with a natural waterfall that empties onto the sand. The parking lot is off to the left; from it, just follow a short trail under the freeway through a tunnel to the cliffside trail. AND THEN FALL OFF IT TO YOUR DEATH.
Stop it, California.
7. Buzzard’s Roost Loop
You know what buzzards do, right? They eat dead things. If that’s not a warning sign to stay away, I don’t know what is.
You can’t see them, but I bet there were buzzards circling right above us.
8. Deadly Caterpillars
How could this not be poison.