Goddamn Hippie Winter Bowl

The original post where I found this recipe calls it the “Speedy Cheezy Protein Pasta Bowl.” Only I kind of hate that name because not only is it too long, but “cheezy,” with it’s needless “z,” is a really obnoxious word. Also “protein” being highlighted as a particular dietary benefit always makes me think of sperm.

And I couldn’t call it the Yeast-y Protein Bowl, because yeast is even worse. You know what I mean.

Hence, the Goddamn Hippie Winter Bowl.

It’s actually pretty good.

2 cups cooked grains (like farro, or wheat berries, or cous cous, or quinoa. Whatever gets your yoga pants in a twist.)
2 cups peas (or an entire bag of frozen peas. If you are lazy. Which I am.)
1 can white beans (or 1.5 cups beans that you lovingly grew and harvested yourself. Hippie.)
1 cup nutritional yeast (Do you already have this in your pantry and don’t even need to go to a specialty grocery to get some? I knew it.)
2 tbsp pine nuts
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp pepper

How To Make

1. Make your carbs. Follow the cooking directions for whatever whole-grain, fiber-rich, organic, shit-inducing ancient Mesopotamian grain you’re going to use. I’m not a mind reader. Chances are you’re going to boil water, then add your grains, then let them soak up the water for a little while. So go do that.

Also, if you’re into toasty nuts, toast your pine nuts. In a pan, with a little bit of olive oil. Good work.

2. Steam your frozen peas.

Have fresh peas? Don’t steam.

Super lazy? Add frozen peas to cooked pasta while it’s still warm. Hope that it’s warm enough to completely thaw out vegetables. Suffer through ice crystals if it was not.

3. Drain and rinse the beans. Mix beans, grains, and pine nuts.

4. Add yeast, garlic powder, pepper, olive oil. Then, THEN add the peas. They’re a little delicate, so pretend you’re petting the back of a sleeping baby bunny with your (wooden, right?) spoon as you fold them in.

5. Spoon that sh*t up and enjoy. The nutritional yeast gives it a cheesy flavor, so if you’re not into yeast, swap in parmesan or your other fave cheese.

But not soy cheese.

That stuff is awful.


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