Poppycorn is a stupid-simple and crazy-good thing we make every Christmas. It consists of Crispix, popcorn, and almonds tossed in a caramel mixture and then baked to kind-of-crunchy, kind-of-chewy mouthgasmic goodness. You will not regret making it. The original recipe is brought to you by my little sister’s best childhood friend’s mom, Patty.
And the number 7.
And the letter ø.
1 lb butter. Use real butter. Because, butter.
2 cups brown sugar
3/4 cup light corn syrup
2 tsp vanilla
1/2 tsp baking soda
2-14 oz boxes Crispix
10-ish cups popcorn (2 bags microwave)
1-2 cups almonds (optional)
Assemble your dry ingredients. Easiest way to do this? Buy two aluminum turkey roasting pans. Pour a box of Crispix in each. Divide the almonds and the popcorn between the two. Done.
Remember when you were little, and your parents always took over any cooking duties that had to be executed in close proximity to the stove? Well, now you get to do it, you fully-functioning adult, you. If your parents did let you do things that involved stoves/ovens, I guess they were cooler than mine. Or just really terrible parents. Who knows.
Melt/mix together the butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, vanilla, and baking soda until glossy. I.e., warm them up in a pot on the stove. Simple. Do not by any means get out your candy thermometer. That is for gourmet recipes. Not poppycorn.
Divide the caramel-ish mixture between your pans of dry ingredients, and mix thoroughly. This is when I start to become really aware of the amount of sticky and crunchy things falling out of the pan. I guess I’m bad at stirring. If that’s even possible.
Bake at 225 degrees for 1 hour. MIX EVERY 15 MINUTES. You guys. Do it.
Continue stepping in the crumbs and general poppycorn detritus on your kitchen floor. Continue to ignore this.
Take out of the oven and stir after 1 hour. You can put foil on the counter tops and dump poppy corn on top of foil to cool, or let them cool off in the pans (in which case it will continue cooking for a little off the residual heat.) .
Then try it, and make a noise that’s all, “UNNHHHHH” because it’s so good.
Share with friends and family if deep down you are a good person.