Wholewheat Nanner Bread

It is funnier to say “Nanner” than “Banana.” So I’m using that.


2 cups wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon cinnamon
2 eggs
3/4 cup brown sugar
3 ripe-ass nanners
2/3 cup oil
1 teaspoon vanilla


Peel, then cut, then mash your nanners.

Do you have an apron? Consider putting it on at this point. Combine the wet stuff: eggs, vanilla, oil. And then the brown sugar. Stir the shit out of it. Really go to town. Unless you like those moist, snot-like lumps of nanner in your bread.

Mix your dry ingredients: flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon. You can do this with a whisk or a spoon. Or your hand, if you’re really low on kitchen supplies. NO ONE HAS TO KNOW.

Add the dry ingredients to the wet.

If you’re a girl and your gentleman friend is over, use this moment to put a sexy smudge of flour on your cheek. Your man will be so turned on by this he will probably want to bend you over the kitchen table right then and there. But tell him no. Then finish mixing.

If you’re a man, you’re golden. Baking bread is a total panty dropper, but even if you don’t have a lady friend, who cares. You’re about to have a loaf of nanner bread to bury your face in. Finish mixing.

If you’re a single lady, take this moment to appreciate the fact that no one gives a shit that your hair looks like mice had sex in it. Then finish mixing.

Grease, then flour, a bread pan.

Bake at 350 degrees for 50 minutes, and rotate halfway through for even baking.

Remove from oven, let cool, then eat. And don’t feel any guilt at all, because you used wheat flour.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: