Played-out Fads and Their Replacements

Can we please be done with the following things? I think we’ve solidly hit the “played out” section of their cultural relevance. But don’t be sad. I’m giving you brand new replacement fads that will make you the toast of the internet. Or make people want to punch you. Same thing!

1. NOM NOM NOM.

We get it. You’re eating good food. Unfortunately, for most of us that means quietly chewing, but I guess you’re just special. Instead, let’s all start using outdated slang to describe whatever food it is we’re orgasming over.

“I’ll have another one of those hotsy-totsy croquettes, please! I’m goofy for them.”

2. Girls in Fake Mustaches

You know what’s next, right? Fake chest hair. Motorboating just got real, you guys.

3. Zombies

Moving on to… VIKINGS. I know that everyone likes getting all fake-scared about the zombie apocolypse and smearing artificial blood on themselves for flash mobs, but I think the zombie thing is a little stale now. Seriously though: Vikings. Because, pillaging. And hats with horns.

4. Bacon-Everything

Bacon is in ****ing everything now. It’s in chocolate. It’s woven around whole turkeys. It’s on your website. It’s a goddamn lube flavor, even. Can we move on to a new ironic foodie obsession yet? Like liverwurst. It’s so under-appreciated.

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