Thing I Love #7: Apple Pie

Of all the things to eat for dessert, homemade apple pie is quite possibly my favorite.

I’ll explain why, in conjunction with the recipe, below.

Compile your ingredients in the kitchen while your little sister is making breakfast and get in her way as much as possible. It’s more fun for you.

For the crust:
2 1/2 cups flour
1 tablespoon sugar
1 teaspoon salt
2 sticks cold, unsalted butter
4-6 tbsp cold water

For the pie:
6 large apples (or 8 small ones)
3/4 cup white sugar
3 tbsp flour
3/4 tbsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tbsp ground nutmeg

For the top of the pie (should you be so inclined):
1 egg, or 2 tbsp melted butter
2 tbsp white sugar

Now, reasons why I love apple pie. And how to bake one.

Start by preheating your oven to 350 degrees.

REASON 1: Apple pie involves an apple peeler-corer-slicer, which is the best apple-related kitchen product ever. It looks like something you’d use to eviscerate a small animal (and you probably could). But it’s for apples.

If you’re unlucky enough not own one, peel and thinly slice your apples.Put your slices in a large bowl. Mix the flour, sugar, cinnamon and nutmeg. Sprinkle over the apple slices and toss to combine. Taste test one to be sure they’re not poisonous.

Now make the crust. Mix the flour, sugar and salt. REASON 2: Baking involves leveling off the flour in the measuring cup with the back of a knife – something I’ve done since childhood – and few things afford me greater satisfaction than a perfectly flat cup of flour.

Cube the butter, then cut it into the dry ingredients with a pastry blender, or two large forks. When your butter is in small (read: pea-sized) pieces, stop. This will ensure flakiness when baking. Now add the water, one tbsp at a time, blending the ingredients. Stop when the dough pulls together.

Put the dough on a lightly-floured surface and knead it a few times. Divide it in half. Roll each half into a circle. Place one in your pie tin and poke holes around the bottom with a fork. Why? Not really sure. Mainly because I seem to remember my mom telling me to do this at some point in my childhood.

Put your apples in the tin. It’s okay if some of them still have peel attached. No one’s perfect. Plus there’s fiber in it.

Now lay the other circle of dough on top.Are you adorable and crafty like me? Cut hearts out first.

REASON 3: Going with the “tactile” theme…apple pies also require crust trimming. I like to do this with a pair of scissors. Some might choose a knife as a more kitchen-appropriate tool, but I would like to pose a question to those individuals: Have you ever snipped the excess crust around a pie off with a pair of scissors? No? Please go do it immediately and report back to me. It is, for some reason, incredibly satisfying.

REASON 4: They’re fucking adorable. I don’t care if you do a lattice top, cut little designs or just poke holes in the top with a fork, pies are cute.

Trim off the excess crust and crimp the edges. Next brush either beaten egg or melted butter on the top of the pie. Sprinkle with white sugar. Put the pie in the oven and bake it for 45 minutes.

REASON 5: The smell it makes while in your oven can only be described as a nosegasm.

REASON 6: Just like pizza, they’re almost better eaten the next day as breakfast, after a night in the fridge.


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